the maze

the maze, by karsten harazim (final version 072124)prologue

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there is this man in his maze.

he looks around, all he can see is grey concrete-like walls surrounding him.

(gladly there is even enough light in the maze to see anything at all 😉

to the left,
to the right,
behind him,
before him,
maze.

above – just a little light coming from somewhere down thru the endless walls.

he is not at all surprised,
he is used to it,
he feels familiar,
he feels at home in his maze.

„the maze is all i know!“ he thinks.

he walks around some random corners and changes direction at some crossroads as he gets more familiar with touch and the smell and the sight of the walls surrounding himself.

he wanders around
and around
and around
and around
and around,
endlessly.

he is indifferent,
he is uninterested,
he does not expect to find an exit,
he asks himself „do i want to get out at all?“
he can not honestly say that he wishes so.

he realizes that the maze changes as he changes,
he thinks and feels as the maze changes.

he starts to realize that he is in fear,
the distance between the walls seem to shrink.

fear,
anger,
sorrow,
grief,
selfpity,
humility,
gratitude,
hope,
trust,
belief,

seem to directly influence the physical appearance of the maze surrounding him.

he asks into the maze „hello! is there someone?“
again „are you there? g`d?“

the walls seem to melt into the ground a bit.
he reacts with another fear.
the walls seem to grow,
get thicker,
come closer,
he panics,
the walls almost squeeze him,
now he can barely breathe.

„allmighty – please help!“

the walls shrink back.

he pauses,
he takes a breath,
the walls seem to shrink some more.
another breath,
more shrinking,
a deeper breath,
and more shrinking.

he can finally see the top edge of the walls,
he feels enlightened.

(actually ther is just light coming into the maze from above now 😉

he can now see over the edge of the walls when he gets on his toes,
all he sees is maze,
there is only maze.
and light
and himself.

he climbs on top of the wall,
he enjoys his view,
he enjoys himself,
he thinks he has found the power,
he plays his game,
enjoys the up and down with rapid speed,
enjoys the rollercoaster-ride,
feels like he’s been rocketed with an elevator into another dimension.

„woah! – finally there’s something happening in here!“

until he’s struck by his fear of heights,
he freezes,
he trembles,
he is cold in shivers,

„g`d, how do i get down and out of this?“

he gets down on his knees,
he crawles a bit,
the walls shrink down a bit.
he crawls some more and every inch he crawls the walls shrink down simultaneously.
he crawls some more,
the walls shrink more into the ground.
he surrenders.
the walls shrink,
he surrenders more,
the walls shrink more.
surrendering,
shrinking.

he gets up,
dizzy,
trembling knees,
there is only maze.
and light
and himself.

he accepts.
he breathes.
he relaxes.
the walls shrink,
he can see the ground again,
the walls shrink more and finally disappear into the ground.
the maze is gone.

he takes a cautious step on firm ground,
the ground stands solid,
he feels safe,
he feels free,
he feels pride,
the walls come up just a little bit,
just enough to make him stumble and fall,
his knee hurts,
his shinbone hurts,
he cries out loud in pain,
he sees what he is doing his life,
he cries more,
he cries and cries until he falls asleep.

he wakes up,
feels bewildered,
he lifts his head,
looks around,
nothing,
noone,
only light,
and the ground with the traces of the maze,
he gets up,
looks around,
nothing,
noone,
only light,
and the ground with the traces of the maze,
he takes a first step,
nothing,
one more,
nothing,
another step,
nothing,

one more,
one more step and one after another,
trying,

not to loose the contact to the higher power of his own understanding.

he wanders off,
straight into one random direction,
step by step,
from the here,
and
now,
into
a
future.

epilogue

the man has wandered quite some 24 hours now, feels quite comfortable and familiar with g´ds guidiance and the challenges that his journey brings to him. he has passed a lot of ruins, some wreckage, skeletons and corpses are lying around in the desert and keep reminding him of his past. with surrendering to g´ds will he manages to stay on track and keeps the maze hidden and buried in the ground. he’s enjoys his trip, he feels calm, serene, happy, joyous and free and all of a sudden a melody occurs in his head and he starts to sing and whistle, enjoys the melody that came to his mind and starts to thinks about what could be if…
„plong!“. his head is hit by something really hard. he falls back onto his arse and a huge bump appears at his forehead. he touches the bump, „ouch!“ he shouts out loud, „what the f*****g hell…?“. he shakes his head. „godammit!“ he says. there is nothing to see. he pets his bump and reaches with the other hand and – touches glas. invisible, thick and firm. a wall of glas. there is laughter behind him. he turns his head. at first he sees noone. then: up in the sky on a cloud there’s g´d breaking into tears of laughter, rolling on his back and holding his stomach with one hand and the other hand pointing, with his finger at him and breaking even louder into joyful laughter. he laughs and laughs and laughs. „hahaha – this one is on me!“ he laughs and cries out more!
one thought occurs in the man. a gap opens up in the cloud and all of a sudden g´d is in freefall. looking really surprised, waving his hands in the air and his face looks confused and a little frightened during his fall. g´d hits ground hard. „bäm!“. the man breaks into tears. he starts laughing. cannot stop but laugh, laughs, laugh. tries to catch some breath and holds his stomach, points his finger to g´d lying there on the ground in a cloud of dust and looking bewildered. g´d shakes his head, gets his senses back, looks at the man and starts laughing aswell, breaks into tears and falls on his back catching for air to breath and air laugh even more. same does the man. they both roll around in laughter and cannot help but cry and laugh at each other in intimacy for a looong time.

the man gets up. g`d gets up. they look at each other, beat the dust out of their clothes and comb their hair back with bare hands. they look into each others eyes, compassionate, full of affection and love for each other. still tears flow down their cheeks as they walk onto each other and meet with a really powerful hug. hugging and moaning. father and son enjoying each others physical presence. turning each other around, lifting each other up and hugging deeper and more. they step back just enough to look each other in the eyes. a deep and timeless look in the eyes, crying tears of compassion and love for each other. looking and seeing themselves in the others eyes.

go´d ist the first to finds words and breaks the silence: „that was a good one!“ he says, „son, i made you in my own image – you know?“ and laughs again.